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Online Dating Messaging Rules For Women - Stable Head But Open Heart

Posted: Friday, September 04, 2009

by Samantha Summers

Online dating women are burdened by issues very similar to those faced by women dating in the real world. Also, just like dating in the real world, women looking for love online need to monitor their hearts with a stable head. Unlike standard dating, women who date on the internet don't have the benefit of interpreting body language and voice inflection and all the other little things that enhance communication. When initiating communication online, so much is left to that first online dating message.

For many women, the promise of finding a new love and a fulfilling relationship is only to be found online. You know who we are talking about. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, its just that circumstance, like in many other cases, has not made your love life easy. These women have done the singles bars, suffered disastrous blind dates and attended many events that held the promise of meeting good eligible men. It just has never happened. Although this time can seem like many eons, it is just a temporary thing.

Everything changes. Still, many women get jaded and cynical about the subject. You can recognize them by their comments: "Eligible men are non-existent!", "All the attractive men are already married!", The "I don't think there will ever be a man to love me" statement is the hope killer.

Good Woman Seeking Good Man

If there are not any "good men" left to date then how on earth do you explain all of the single men looking for a "good woman" on dating sites? It is obvious that there is tons of opportunity, you just need facilitating. Its tough take reigns of your search, especially because it takes some of the romance out of the equation. Your "he accidentally touched my hand...our eyes locked in a never ending stare...and I knew he was the one" moment gets replaced by "I got my list of new matches today and there are two candidates". Hey...help fate a little once you find the guy you will have plenty of "ooooh, ahhhh" moments.

In other words, women who have lost hope in the bar, supermarket and cooking class scene, should try their luck online dating. They need to put the fun and excitement offered by these sites into the appropriate context and lose the hopelessness and cynicism. The secret is to choose the site that is likely to return the best matches to you. Changing a hardened heart into an open one is possible.

Obviously, practicality in any approach is essential, in the case of online dating it is no different. You should have a clear head communicating with men online and interpreting their messages. When opening your heart to possibilities you should be aware that you need to balance this desire with your personal safety as well. Your aim should be to continue communicating with the men who meet your preferences even while looking to meet new people.

Is The Feeling Right?

Often online dating women make the serious mistake of pursuing an relationship that in hindsight was really not suitable for them. To maximize your online dating experience, you should keep the following guidelines in mind.

If the messaging doesn't feel "right" ignore it. You must listen to your female instincts.
If you suspect a man is not being honest go on and ask him about it directly. If his answers do not satisfy you or he becomes evasive, stop the communication!
Honesty is important, but save your most sensitive personal information for after you build confidence in each other.
Don't let any man pressure you to meet in person before you are ready.
Be understanding and remember that men communicate differently than women.
Don't try to be someone you are not.

Too many women think they will get flirts and messages from men only if they act in a particular of way. The fact is that every woman is beautiful in her own way and there are plenty of eligible men who would be fortunate to have a chance to date you. All women get the chance to explore new relationships safely and securely though online dating. It's a way to take a leap of faith while keeping both feet on the ground.

Samantha Summers is a staff writer for several online dating and relationship websites and e-zines. Currently she is writing for OnlineDatingVille.com.

Read more on tips for your first online dating message and your internet dating success.

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